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[04 Apr 2005|12:05am] |
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i have been pondering many of the situations i've been in in the past couple months lately. i can’t help but wonder why it is i often forget many things i’ve learned. there is a rare occasion in life that reminds us it is so short. i know too often i don’t embrace opportunities when they arise. it's like i become this other apprehensive person. when some opportunities arise, ones that I KNOW would easily be some of the most fabulous experiences of my life, for some reason, i cant dive in. i am like a little kid learning how to swim. i see how much fun the other people are having in the pool, and i know i would kick ass if i could just dive in… if only that chance could arise again.
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[20 Mar 2005|04:39pm] |
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swinger
a : a lively up-to-date person who indulges in what is considered fashionable
b : one who engages freely in sex
well... atleast you meet both criteria.
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[20 Mar 2005|12:43am] |
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it's weird how everything/everyone is changing. like complete 180's of their other person. interesting. i hope i can find myself in the piles of crap all over my room one day soon. i think i need to get outta tally for a couple days :-\
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| whoa |
[01 Mar 2005|11:22am] |
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i haven't written in 1000 years and thought it was time. things have been in a whirlwind lately. my past has become my present and i am thoroughly enjoying myself. a certain friend has reminded me that life is just a bunch of laughs and i really need to start enjoying it more. remeber me. it's like when talking to him, there is this person inside of me saying heyyy... let's have fuun like we used to! forget what everyone wants of you and do what's good for you! hahaha... all smiles over here
also, i've recently found out... my sister knows. this means only means i am going to have to sit through some boring lecture from her and my other sister like they used to when i was in 8th grade. i think they might think i listen to them and care what they think.
my parents have been on my case about finding a room-mate for next year. i really wouldn't mind living by myself... especially since i don't really have any friends to live with (high five tallahassee living). this has to be the most boring town ever! adventures? tell me if u know where to find one... :-)
tata for now!
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[12 Feb 2005|08:14pm] |
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we haven't spoken in a week. is it wrong of me to refuse to drive to gainesville EVERY weekend? just because I'M the one with the car doesn't mean it should all be on me. it's not like i didn't want to go... i just don't have the 'resources' to go out of town every weekend! i made it through six years of friendship to be cut off because i wouldnt go when it was good for him? the weekend before he probably didn't even think of me... it was his first show. i wonder where this will go, if anywhere...
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[27 Jan 2005|03:45pm] |
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life is a funny thing. there are certain things that you feel as though you'll never see or accomplish despite the fact they are a fingertip away from your grasp and the longer it takes you to get to them, the further they move away. sometimes, when least expected, these things come out from lurking in the shadows and brush against you. somewhat like "hey, remember me. good."
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| ;-) |
[16 Jan 2005|07:13pm] |
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happy |
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it's weird how different everything looks right now...
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| twice in one day... im going crazy on lj... |
[05 Jan 2005|12:14pm] |
you know you're a pothead when...
You think the song "Truckin'" by the Grateful Dead should replace the national anthem.
Your music collection is worth more than your vehicle.
Your bong is taller than your dog.
It takes you more than 30 minutes to roll a joint.
You set your wedding date for 4/20.
You take off April 20th every year and treat it as a holiday.
You spent your last bit of money to score some herbs and don't have enough gas money to get home but you don't care.
You start every sentence with - uhhh!.
You intentionally roll seeds in your joints on independence day so you can hear the popping because you don't have money to buy fireworks.
You eat at Taco Bell more than 8 times a week.
You wear sunglasses at night, and see better.
You go to the corner store and the clerk automatically tosses a pack of rolling papers on the counter.
Your pot tray is fuller than your refrigerator.
Your bong gets washed more than your dishes.
You sell your car for gas money
You are the only tobacco smoker in the room and you look at the cigarette in the ashtray and ask, "Is that my cigarette?"
You're eating something on your way home thinking about what you're gonna eat when you get home!
Every cylinderical object you see, turns into plans on a new smoking device....
Just to be religous, you observe 4:20 in every time zone.
Someone has ever come up to you on the street and said "Hi" and you said "Yep."
You thought the ebola virus was a type of weed.
You think being stoned to death would be a damn good way to go out.
You have ever smoked pot before 8 o'clock in the morning.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other pothead friends.
...i saw this and couldn't help but share :-) much love...
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| life... |
[05 Jan 2005|08:26am] |
things have been turned upside down as many know in my household in the past few days. it kills me to see my sister like this when she doesn't have to be. sometimes i just don't understand how people (my parents) can be so set in their opinions... whatever. my mom keeps on asking me how i feel and if she asks me many more times i might just be honest and tell her i'm apathetic.
on another note... i love writing letters. like "snail-mail" fun letters. one of my "new years resolutions" is to send more letters. even if just to say hello. im not sure who i will be sending them to... i'm considering some suprise attacks... hopefully they'll be read.
thank you :-)
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| "hate to love and love to hate her..." |
[14 Dec 2004|09:40pm] |
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i never thought i was a really unlikeable person, but recently i've been thinking that i might be. i'm not perfect, and i don't expect to be friends with everyone i meet. i don't know what it is.. maybe it's jealousy or misunderstanding? i just don't understand how there are some people who i simply adore who seem not to care if they ever see me again... it makes my heart hurt...
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[16 Nov 2004|12:31pm] |
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gainesville this weekend. friday was lotsa fun despite dear johnson not being there. met dane cook... he was amazing!!! it's getting so very very chilly here in tally. this morning it was 48 when i left for class. and i was very cold.
the real reason for this entry is dina. my lovely close-up room-mate who has prospered in life as i always hoped she would, lol. GOOOOO DINA!!!!!! congrats on your "first time." lol i love you!
much lourve! hahahaha oh dane!
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| hahaha |
[09 Nov 2004|10:56am] |
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You Are Tequilla |
When you drink, you're serious about getting drunk!
You'll take any shot that's offered up to you...
Even if it tastes like sock sweat!
And you're never afraid of eating the worm. |
...oh haaaay....
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| oh happy day... |
[21 Oct 2004|04:14pm] |
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this morning i woke up at 647am as i usually do on tues and thurs. despite my tiredness, knowing i had a test at 8am and a psychology experiment to go to...i found myself feeling overly happy. why? i'm not really sure.. but its working for me. soo... off to my test i went and answered 65 questions including the definition of 'hooking-up' and 'free-floating relationships'. it was exciting... i had to finish my astronomy lab from tuesday night and the program wasn't working on any of the computers at school... so i made up the answers. off to my psychology experiment i went. i answered 2 questionnaires about myself and supposedly had give my opinion of this person based on this essay they wrote, but the guy administering the experiment was the worst liar ever and i figured the person wasn't real... she wasn't. anyways... the rest of my day has been filled with getting homework finished and sewing costumes for Mickey's not-so-scary halloween party on friday night!!! yahoo!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASHLEE!!!
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[15 Oct 2004|06:10pm] |
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refreshed |
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there is something about the chilly weather that makes me feel so refreshed! it didn't get over 72 in tally today... and it made me smile. a lot.
on the other hand... my mom is being crazy. she thinks im miserable up here. i'm not enjoying myself, living the typical college life... and for some reason, i can't seem to find cool people for the life of me, but that doesn't mean im miserable! she wants me to go home for spring. i think nooo. AND back in the fall when i made the horrible mistake for all of the wrong reasons to come to FSU... she was so despressed i wasnt going to uf and kept on saying, "but jessica, i thought you were going to be my little gator." i wish she could make up her mind now that ive made up mine! sooo stressful!
when i told my sisters i wasnt sure about going to uf because i have a scholarship here and stuff... she goes, "fine jes, than you will just be another example of how money can't buy happiness." that really summed it up for me... i looked at all of the wrong things when deciding where to go to school. i came here because my sister made it sound like she was sooo lonely here...i wouldn't have to live in a dorm... i would have my car... and they were giving me money... BAD IDEA!
thank you lainey.... i am following my gut.
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| the college life... |
[09 Oct 2004|02:03pm] |
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it seems i only write in this damn live journal when ive got problems or cant make up my mind... the decision has come upon me. do i stay or do i go? in tallahassee that is. i don't necessarily hate it here... but i havent found any people the really strike my fancy. soo do i transfer to uf? go gators?? hard decision. i am currently making a list of pro's and con's of both schools... post if you have assistance you would like to offer.
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| my first florida state football game |
[03 Oct 2004|02:36am] |
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hot, hot day... we went to get drinks (to stop ourselves from dehydrating) and ironically enough, i passed out waiting in line for a drink, hahaha goooo me! what luck... laugh if you wish... it was VERY funny
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[29 Sep 2004|12:23pm] |
everyday i sit in my room and study.. i always end up staring at the pictures that adorn my room, all of which coincidently are from the last month or so of senior year. i can't help but wonder how different high school would have been had i not worked so much... had i gone out all the time, or even occassionally. still, despite my lack of involvment in "high schol life" there are things i somewhat miss about that place.... homeroom, dorky smile/waves before and after theology... and if i was lucky, a conversation, talking shit with angela and dina in kruggy, sex and the patio wednesdays (johnson), picnic thursdays, ashlee telling me about what she did friday night so i could possibly live vicariously through her fun. i feel as though my life has been rushed and i've been worried about/focusing on all the wrong things.
what made me go to college with none of the few friends i actually made in high school? is it reason enough to transfer? where to go... why is everyone having a blast in college, the time of your life, and i just can't figure things out. its not that i hate tallahassee, its an ok city (if you can call it a "city"), but i don't know if it's where i belong...
...back to family relations...
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[21 Sep 2004|11:27am] |
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something's missing... hopefully i'll find it soon whatever it is.
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[12 Sep 2004|05:07pm] |
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You Are A Pirate!
What Type Of Swashbuckler Are You?
brought to you by Maddog Varuka & Dawg Brown
i was supposed to be studying... but was inspired by lainey's away message which reminded me of the oh-so-important holidy which is quickly approaching! brace yourselves... 09.19.04.... national speak like a pirate day!
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| ...mmhmm... |
[09 Sep 2004|03:33pm] |
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mood |
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as i sat in english class yesteday... i remembered how much i love writing. i found myself missing the things that used to inspire me. i thought they weren't around anymore, but in reality they just aren't as blanantly obvious as they used to be. or maybe i'm just not as open as i used to be.
"...I let my front down
And i know i will regret it
But you don't know the half and the one to blame for it..."
thank you.
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